What’s One Life worth?

🔊 Listen to Post
In recognition of our (inter)National Day of Mourning for Disabled Victims of Filicide, I am reposting the following. This is a condensed version of a more in-depth publication, which I am planning to publish later in 2019, under my company, DisabilityPride (Publishing) – DisabilityPride.net. For details on purchasing the full edition, please e-mail: orders@DisabilityPride.net with “What’s One Life Worth” in the subject line, or write to: DisabilityPride (Publishing), Unit 201, 3083 Olivet Street, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, B3L 4R2.

What’s One Life worth?

WARNING: The following is not for the weak of human spirit.

It’s funny, most of the time I simply go about living my life and while doing so I slip into a comfort zone of thinking that all in all, the world is still a pretty nice place to be. Then, when I least expect it, I hear the word euthanasia, or the name Robert Latimer, and instantly I feel as if I am being kicked in the head by the entire human race.

My reaction to the above mentioned name is always intensely negative and with true non-wavering conviction. (By the way, I will not use hiss name again within this publication, because I feel that person received far too much notoriety at the peek of his trial and I will not further heighten his media exposure.)

My contempt for both lies in the fact that I know first hand what it is like to live with Cerebral Palsy. In addition to living with CP myself, I know (and have known) numerous others who live with CP as well. I have also worked for and have been involved with many disability organizations, so I know of what I speak.

One of the biggest reasons why the convicted in the above mentioned case received so much sympathy and support from the general public, is that it was perceived that his daughter, Tracy, was in terrible pain. Through media portrayals, the general public was led to believe that the convicted had become so distraught over Tracy’s supposed pain and suffering that he killed her out of deep compassion and love. However, court documents indicated that the convicted had refused hip surgery for Tracy, largely based on his own phobias of needles and medical treatments. Court documents also revealed that this murder was planned twelve days before it was carried out. Once Tracy had expired, her killer took her body from his truck and laid it in her bed. He then deliberately lied about the circumstances of her death by saying that she had died in her sleep. It was only after carbon monoxide was found in Tracy’s system during an autopsy that a confession was made. In this light, I think it is only reasonable to ask, just who’s pain and suffering did he really end?

The truth of the matter is that Cerebral Palsy does not cause or generate physical pain. It is not a disease, nor is it hereditary or degenerative. People who have CP do not suffer from it. Although there are always exceptions, the vast majority of people who have Cerebral Palsy do not experience severe or constant pain. Therefore, the perception that pain is always associated with CP, is perception only, not reality. Often those who have CP, happen to have spastic – jerky movements, but these characteristics themselves do not cause pain or discomfort.

There is also a common misconception that having CP means not only having physical limitations but mental ones as well. Another frequent characteristic of Cerebral Palsy is having a speech impairment, or being completely non-verbal. Many people in our society interpret this trait to mean a lack of intellect and fail to realize that non-verbal does not mean non-intelligent.

———–continued in full manuscript———–

So why does this subject matter evoke such a vile reaction in me?” The answer is twofold.

First, it is precisely because my life has turned out so dramatically different from what was originally predicted for me. Many doctors and other professionals will often make negative predictions with the intention of giving a “realistic” picture of what is to be expected. Yet the truth is that no one honestly knows what “reality” will be until it arrives. Reality can just as easily turn out positive as it can negative.

In all honesty, the second reason behind my reprehension, is one which is extremely difficult to admit. I suspect it is a reason felt by many people with CP, (and other disabilities) yet it is one not easily spoken of or conceded to. It is intense fear.

Fear – shear terror – is not something that anybody wants to discuss openly. Admitting to it is seen as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. To admit vulnerability is to leave oneself open to harm, mistreatment and possible abuse; and nobody wants to do that. Yet when someone with a disability clearly sees such a magnitude of overwhelming support for a person who pre-meditatively ends the life of a disabled person, when 71% supported the notion of a reduced sentence, and when there the same percentage of people weree willing to do the convicted’s prison time as that person had months to serve, the world truly becomes a very scary place to be for all persons with disabilities.

The endorsement of such an act of murder sends a strong and offensive message to all who are deemed “society’s lesser elements.” When people condone such acts by believing that the act was “justified,” it makes it easier for others to follow suit.

In the fall of 1997, after the first newscast that I had seen on this case, the same newscast held a panel discussion on the topic. On this panel there was a mother of another disabled child, who quite openly admitted: “Yeah, I’ve thought about doing the same thing.” She then went on to say that because of this case, she now felt no shame in admitting it and that if she ever did carry out the deed, it would be justified.

A few days later, my now ex and I ran into another mother of a beautiful blond-headed boy of about 10 years old, with CP. This woman was in full support of what Tracy’s murderer had done and proceeded to tell us so, quite openly, right in front of her son. She also expected my ex to agree with her. When he took the complete opposite stand, she was completely bewildered.

Could Tracy have proven her nay sayers (including her own parents) wrong? I don’t know. I am not suggesting that her life would have taken the same drastic about face that mine did. Yet could she have had a different life than what was predicted? Could she have accomplished some things which would have made her happy and given her satisfaction? We’ll never know will we? Tracy never had the chance to find out. That opportunity was taken from her, by the single act of one man.

It took me some three and a half years before I was able to write anything about the above referred to case. When I first heard about it, my anger and rage kept me bottle-necked from a literary prospective. Every time I tried to write about it, I would get so outraged that I couldn’t get beyond those feelings. But one Saturday night back then, I read such a repulsive letter on the Canoe web site, that I just snapped and consequently started writing on the matter.